Sheer enjoyment!

I totally enjoyed what I did! That rodent who is eating my cereal in quite some time now, finally caught using my trap! Yesterday: I bought this fly trap which is very sticky! I saw the mother fucker struggling to break free to that sticky substance. Oh joy! The sweet revenge! I'm once a nursing student so I have those injection kit and guess what. I injected different kinds of liquid substance to its body. I had a good laugh honestly. That's what you get when you mess up the wrong guy. Too bad that it died so fast. Next time I caught another rat, I'll do it less painful. :)

The urge is rising, the craving for something exciting is unbearable.

Every night and everyday, I'm always having this crave. A calculated plan, a swift and perfect scenario in my head.
A silent but a sure ecstasy of adrenaline and heavenly silent scream.
A soul that is almost out of her body.
A years that will totally succumb to its final destination.
I know that this is a total disaster that's unnatural, yet still natural for those lowly beings that can't understand what excitement really is.

I walk everyday, looking at those eyes. Those eyes that are begging to me. Begging to be understood.


I haven't done anything right now.





but I am definitely thinking about it.







For how long do I need to suppress this? I'm clinging to a vine that is already stressed and almost at it's verge of snapping. I need a constant stimulation.

Before I can experience the total pleasure that my life can offer.

Therapy for myself.: Somewhat Enlightend.

Naahhhhhhhh. I really don't care... Nothing is wrong with me. Why did I even bother to post this shit blog.

Somewhat Enlightend.

Seriously.... I think, I might have a problem, or maybe it's not a problem. But, What is remorse? Yes I know what remorse is, but I really don't know how it feels. Should I cry for a lost friend? What should I feel? Isn't it how the world works?

They say that I'm weird, but I don't feel any kind of care or what so ever.
In all honesty, I lost most of my what so called friends. How come I have this urge to see them suffer?
I enjoy every bit of pain and disappointment they experience.

I can't even maintain a steady relationship. I now that every bad actions that I make will have a consequence and a punishment. I once talked this issue to one of my friend and he says that I should try practicing empathy. Yet again, I know what empathy is but I don't know what it is..

I want to know what is wrong with me..